tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-833976893201712682024-03-20T03:00:23.157-04:00A student walked into seminary class...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-43413082105715255222016-04-08T23:54:00.001-04:002016-04-08T23:55:31.324-04:00Evening Walks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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For the past month or so, I’ve taken up the practice of
going for an evening walk. I head out my door any time after 10:30pm, and I go
for one or two trips around the little suburban neighborhood across the street.
I live in a fairly safe and secure town, and all the streets are well lit by
either street lamps or outdoor lights owned by the homeowners. Even when it’s
cold, windy, rainy, or snowy, I make it a point to get out and walk. I’m
usually only out for fifteen to thirty minutes (depending upon how many laps I
do through the community), but it has become a Holy practice for me. <br />
<br />
Sabbath has been a difficult undertaking in seminary. I always felt pulled in
so many different directions that taking time to do something for myself seemed
selfish; I needed to finish that one paper or get caught up on that reading!
But this time each evening has helped to me to refocus upon what’s important,
and it helps me to unwind after long and busy days. I think my connection to
God has suffered while I’ve been in seminary, it became harder at times to hear
God above the din of the academia. I sometimes fear that I sacrificed too much
in the name of academic success and as a result potentially missed out on some
transformative community events which would have allowed me to commune with God
more frequently. I can’t do anything now to change what I’ve done, but I can
work on being better for the future. Ministry has many long and demanding days,
and I will need to be intentional about carving time out for myself. So, I
walk. Even when I feel tired and really don’t want to. Even when I still have
too much academic work to complete. Even when it means I have to leave a group
gathering a bit early. I walk. <br />
<br />
As I walk I sometimes sing, and I use the time to pray. I talk to God, and I
listen for her response. I’ve had a particularly trying several months (I
referenced this in my last blog post, <a href="http://rachel-meets-seminary.blogspot.com/2016/01/10-letters.html">10
letters</a>), and I’m working on a rebuilding phase for myself. It’s slow, and
painstakingly difficult at times, and I will be a decidedly different person
than I was before I had this experience. And as I reflect on these past few
months of trial, I believe that God has been with me the entire way, even when
I couldn’t feel God. I think God comes to us in the faces of those we love, in
the voice on the other end of the phone asking, “How are you today?” </div>
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<br />
When I walk and talk with God, I contemplate the pieces of
my life which have made me who I am, the pieces which have brought me to this
place. Sometimes I get angry and have no reasonable place to apply blame, so I
get angry with God (because God can handle it when we get angry, and I think it’s
better to be authentic in emotion and express anger with God than it is to
allow that anger to fester inwardly and cause you to yell and scream at your
housemate or tell that annoying person at work to get lost), and when I’m done
I know God is still with me and loves me.</div>
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<br />
I recently had a talk with someone about forgiveness and how
I wanted to one day forgive someone who had done something harmful to me. As we
pressed in conversation, I admitted that I didn’t know if I would ever be able
to truly forgive that person, but I never wanted to give up trying. I’m not
ready yet to forgive in this instance, but every day I think about that person
and I attach the declaration, “Child of God,” to the end of their name. My hope
is that as much as I recognize from a theological level that they are a child
of God, I need to get to the point at my emotional level where I see they are
indeed a Child of God. It’s not an easy task. But I continue trying. Because it
is through trying that we experience growth and change.</div>
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<br />
Speaking of, my life is about to change again. I started
this blog in preparation for commencing my seminary education. I moved from
Upstate New York to Boston, MA never having lived more than an hour away from family.
I remember being so homesick those first weeks that it was excruciating. But
Boston eventually became home. It has left an indelible mark upon my heart, and
I will forever look to these years as ones in which I did the most growing into
my own that I ever have. As the weeks and days draw closer to the end (three
weeks of regular classes left, three weeks of CPE placement left, five weeks
until graduation), it is startling to me how much I’ve experienced which I wasn’t
able to chronicle here. Part of that is due to my very inconsistent ability to
write regularly, and yet it is also due to trying to live in the moment. I
tried to be present in ways which didn’t allow me to be buried in my phone
instead of interacting with those around me. Seminary is an amazing journey,
and I am experiencing the bitter-sweet emotions that come with it ending. As I
prepare to step from one journey, I know that I embark upon another exciting
phase in my life. The journey isn’t ending, it’s just taking on a different
shape. </div>
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<br />
As I walk with God on these evenings, I share my concerns
for the future, my joys for the present, and my pains of the past. People can
debate the power and works of prayer all they want, but that I take the time to
share something with the cosmos, that I can share something of myself with
something bigger than we can comprehend, is important. I know that I am not on
this journey or any journey alone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
New and exciting things await me. I can’t wait to see where
God calls me to next.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-985317184638035322016-01-21T18:54:00.003-05:002016-01-21T19:57:35.701-05:0010 letters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Full
Disclosure: This blog post will delve into the very personal. It will also have
the occasional four-letter-word in it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
haven’t truly shared a deep blog post in a while, there are a few reasons for
that;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve always struggled with the practice of
regular writing, it’s never something I’ve been particularly good at. So, it
often falls by the wayside to other opportunities for engagement. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Seminary is busy and demanding. Sometimes
I need to focus my energies on my assignments and living into the very life
before me. This means that sometimes, writing doesn’t get done. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">But the predominant reason I haven’t taken
the time to write in a while is due to this: Depression. Ten letters. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Due
to a series of events in my life, course content interacting in particularly
triggering ways, and demands of my internship, I spiraled into depression. For
those who haven’t experienced the dark wolf, let me simply say this, depression
is fucking brutal. It is a constant exhaustion coupled with not being able to
sleep. It’s isolating yourself from those around you while wishing someone
would just give you a hug and tell you they love you. It’s needing to do laundry
but finding yourself still sprawled across your bed three hours later, unable
to move and unable to care. You feel like you’re listening to the world through
a straw and viewing the landscape through the sides of a dirty pint glass, your
brain is covered in cheesecloth which slows down the reception and processing
of information. It hurts to breathe. It is exhausting and painful to do the
very things which are meant to sustain you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gratefully,
I had people in my life who I was able to reach out to. I had the people who
took me to lunch and tried to encourage me to eat. I had the people who made it
okay for me to sit in a nearly catatonic state or held silence as tears
streamed silently down my face. I had the people who made me carry a card of
names and phone numbers for three people I would call in an emergency. I had
the people who sent text messages every day just to check in. People invited me
into their homes and guest rooms simply so I didn’t have to spend the night
alone. I called people and cried, they loved me from afar, suggested scripture
to read, and prayed with me. I took medical incompletes in two classes so as
not to be a detriment to myself academically and professionally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Some
might suggest that this platform, a blog, is not the place to share such
information. It’s airing dirty laundry for everyone to see. While I can
understand their concern, I respond with the question, “What about depression
and concerns for mental health make them particularly ‘dirty’ to society?” I
choose to share this information because I believe that the more we are
transparent about mental health issues the stronger we become as people and a
society. When we talk about it and acknowledge it, we remove some of the shame
and guilt which keeps people in the closet. When we talk about mental health in
everyday life without whispering in hushed tones behind closed doors, we make
the prospect of seeking help attainable. When we don’t talk about mental
health, those who do have experiences with mood disorders just continue to feel
like isolated, fucked up freaks. We don’t need that. So, I choose to name my
depression. I choose to do so because it is healthy for me in my own growth and
awareness, and I choose to do so with the knowledge that someone else may be
experiencing depression and they should know that they are not alone. There is
a vulnerability to naming and claiming our needs in this world, it is a
vulnerability which invites the sacred in to work in new and exciting ways. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Some
people suggest that mental illness is a sign of weakness, that God never gives
us more than we can handle. I think that’s bullshit. If you really believe that
God never gives each of us more than we can handle, I call upon you to look
into the eyes of a family grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide and say
that. Because sometimes, for some people, life truly shovels more shit on us
than we can handle. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
know some people who believe strongly in redemptive suffering and believe that
all suffering serves a purpose. I don’t agree with them. I believe that this
experience will better equip me to be a stronger pastor, but I’d rather it not
have happened.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
talk frequently in theological circles about the concepts of wholeness and
brokenness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cringe to when these terms
are used because brokenness implies wrongness or defect. Wholeness implies that
any brokenness we’ve ever experienced is erased from the slate and never leaves
a mark; I think we can all agree that such an idea is bullshit. Perhaps I’m
thinking in too literal or linear a framework; but I think we’re all
simultaneously broken and whole. It is the beauty in our brokenness which
allows us to see ourselves as whole human beings despite our faults. It is the
duct tape over the crack which tells of the ability of the wounded heart.
Challenges with mental illness does not mean that a person is broken and not
whole, it merely means one is experiencing a level of identity which not
everyone knows. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Where
am I now? I’m still in the midst of my depression. Medication and therapy are
helping me to regain a degree of normalcy over my emotional and mental state, I’m
feeling more in control. But there are still days where it’s extremely hard to
get out of bed and do anything “productive.” There are days I feel like a robot
incapable of emotion, and there are days I’m a basket-case of tears or anger. It’s
all part of the ride I guess. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
don’t know if this has a point beyond naming depression for the sake of
transparency, I don’t know if anyone will find comfort or shared experience in
what I’ve laid out. I know that for some, depression ends only when life ends.
I know for some, medication and therapy are a lifelong necessity. For some,
intentional treatment may be a short-term reality. We all walk our own journey
with life, it’s not a one-size fits-all world. That’s part of the reason
talking about mental health is necessary, we don’t all fit into a cookie cutter
shape for living. <br />
<br />
So love each other. If you know someone who is depressed or suicidal, be
present for them in any way that you can. Know your own limits in helping, but
be available to the degree that you can. <u><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">National</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Suicide</span> Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK.</u></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-26201453291414643212016-01-02T08:01:00.001-05:002016-01-02T08:17:30.658-05:00Initial thoughts on India<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My thoughts are disorganized. But I am enthralled in this experience!<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWeyXDK8t1p_KcON3QW8yWJzomQK9JUDAGVqd5RCQFJ310YYqj3d89uEV2_ExqiRE85kCycF7IYtGT00CnA3Emj3Fx3Y-w2EuYKvSJdV8jCdlcwtBcmoadb0mISFpw0Nl1ELz2rQgPz5O/s640/blogger-image-1994954716.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWeyXDK8t1p_KcON3QW8yWJzomQK9JUDAGVqd5RCQFJ310YYqj3d89uEV2_ExqiRE85kCycF7IYtGT00CnA3Emj3Fx3Y-w2EuYKvSJdV8jCdlcwtBcmoadb0mISFpw0Nl1ELz2rQgPz5O/s640/blogger-image-1994954716.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">We learned how to write our names in Tamil. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkHjKfli2Pq5Ek0AFAndgxJzpjKuueOIrtZLv4QnX0KtHnKI9Lv7WIsoZ1EFpem0hr0CJYVvKCdA_fANfiuBSsbsfpCHPk2E1NA6r3ht2olcz-clO3kXis23cikuzNanwoVwV-6tvoUQE/s640/blogger-image-1887182491.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMkHjKfli2Pq5Ek0AFAndgxJzpjKuueOIrtZLv4QnX0KtHnKI9Lv7WIsoZ1EFpem0hr0CJYVvKCdA_fANfiuBSsbsfpCHPk2E1NA6r3ht2olcz-clO3kXis23cikuzNanwoVwV-6tvoUQE/s640/blogger-image-1887182491.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Pg 1 of reflection on 1/2/16 at 6:15pm</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhljLM-6dkwhe37Ao0_wPqHts7VSe_Mg8vywBy1dAFuJdLT9k3hcHs223Tw8jm4bA0x3HDAZzPeZ5W10mN3-pdzUP91qfiLKSdw7sgbf0fbgUyJSAVxrNAWrtT_Igv0qFi9blCNIUIeY6GX/s640/blogger-image--1479075884.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhljLM-6dkwhe37Ao0_wPqHts7VSe_Mg8vywBy1dAFuJdLT9k3hcHs223Tw8jm4bA0x3HDAZzPeZ5W10mN3-pdzUP91qfiLKSdw7sgbf0fbgUyJSAVxrNAWrtT_Igv0qFi9blCNIUIeY6GX/s640/blogger-image--1479075884.jpg"></a></div>Pg 2</div><br></div><br></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-9992882067989983182015-11-02T20:37:00.004-05:002015-11-02T20:37:54.379-05:00Registration for my final semester...WHAT?!?!I'm preparing to register for my final semester of seminary. <br />To date, I have earned 64 credits and am working on earning another 15 to grant me 79 credits. I need 96 for my degree. <br />My cumulative GPA at the end of last Spring was a 3.65, no grades from this semester have come in yet.<br /><br /><u>My final semester includes:</u><br />--<b>A two week trip to India in January!</b> I'll be studying conflict transformation in South India. Our first session together is this Thursday morning!<br />--<b>Introduction to Preaching</b> - An introduction to the theology and practice of <span class="highlight">preaching</span>
within the context of Christian ministry and worship. Students
develop skills necessary for preparation, composition, delivery, and
critique of sermons. Required of all M.Div. students in the Pastoral
Ministry track.
<br />--<b>Constructive Theology</b> - This course introduces students to the major themes of Christian
theology with the aim of providing them with a framework for
effective and faithful theological reflection. Beginning with
revelation and ending with eschatology, we follow a familiar
progression in the study of systematic theology, examining modern and
postmodern theological perspectives on God, creation, human nature,
sin, Christology, ecclesiology and other doctrinal loci. The
methodological approach is <span class="highlight">constructive</span>, in that emphasis is placed on helping students integrate central issues of faith in response to contemporary issues.<br />--<b>CPE</b> continuing to work with residents exhibiting dementia symptoms related to Alzheimer's and other cognitive diseases.<br />--<b>Seminary Singers</b> (for credit, Singers is something I've always done as extracurricular). The Seminary Singers rehearse on Tuesday evenings and sing during our Wednesday Chapel service. In May we're singing at the United Methodist General Conference!<br />
<br />
I want to know what happened with the last 2+ years. It was a blur. I want it back! <br />I can't believe it's all coming to a close. <br /><br />May 14, 2016.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-36375934144289855222015-10-26T21:58:00.001-04:002015-10-26T21:58:19.800-04:00Just a thought for the nightToday is October 26, 2015.<div>In fewer than seven months I will graduate from Boston University School of Theology with a Master of Divinity. </div><div>I don't know what to think about this. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-36886222835277725022015-10-05T14:00:00.001-04:002015-10-05T21:07:47.632-04:00On going to her wedding.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
On going to her wedding.<br />
<br />
The invitation came in the mail, I didn’t know how to respond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hadn’t exactly parted under the best of
terms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our relationship ended we
were both hurting, living over 300 miles apart, and quickly losing control of
everything around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For myself, I was
in my first year of seminary and was trying to make sense of my life and grasp
at the remaining “truths” of my theology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><br />
<br />
I held the invitation, not knowing what I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I really want to go? Did she really want
me to come? Can I watch her marry someone I’m not totally convinced is right
for her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sought counsel from a few
trusted confidants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most actually told
me I shouldn’t go, that it didn’t seem like I was certain I needed to be
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought, I prayed, I prayed, I
prayed some more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, I
determined that I would go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I RSVP’d
“Yes” and entered my third and final year of seminary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
As the weeks drew closer to the wedding, I still didn’t know if I was truly
prepared to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d sorted through my
feelings and knew that although I would always love her, that love had changed;
I knew that she wasn’t the person I was meant to spend my life in partnership
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When an internship looked like it
might prevent my attending, I simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief and
lamented possibly missing the event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly,
I was conflicted.<br />
<br />
In the week leading up to the wedding, I made the final determination to go and
began working my schedule around the necessary departure time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a several hour drive, so planning for
traffic was necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I awoke before the
sun and was out the door before many other residents in my 18-member house were
awake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I arrived at the location, it became clear to me how much
I really did want to be there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an
outdoor wedding at a state park, parking was in a lower lot and the pavilion
sat up under and behind a grove of trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I talked briefly on the phone with the person who had been our campus
chaplain in college; she asked, “Are you okay with this?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She understood what it could mean to watch
someone I had dated marry someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I assured her of my resolve and departed from my car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took a wrong turn when walking and ended up in the wrong
direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I glanced hastily at my
watch, it was seven minutes before the ceremony was to start and people were
nowhere in sight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked around me in
a bit of panic and found myself thinking, “If I miss this event, I’ll never
forgive myself.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ran back the way I’d
come as fast as I could, I ran up the hill without stopping, I made it to the
pavilion with three minutes to spare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
The first person I saw was the groom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
smiled and said, “She’s going to be so happy you’re here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s getting ready in that RV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t go in, but you need to go and see
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just knock on the door.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked to the RV and knocked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As any good Maid of Honor would do just
minutes before a wedding, the MOH tried to usher me away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The groom hollered from 20 paces off, “She
can go in, she’s okay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The MOH looked
at me, “Okay, but she’s getting into her gown.”<br />
<br />
I walked up the stairs of the RV and looked to the left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her back was to me, she didn’t know I was
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She turned around, saw me, and
her face lit up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I burst into
tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just beautiful because she was in a
wedding dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just beautiful
because it was her wedding day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
looked beautiful from the depths of her soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She radiated joy, it originated from her core.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was the happiest I had ever seen her,
ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hugged and I said through the
tears, “You Are Beautiful!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said,
“Don’t start crying on me already.”<br />
<br />
As we hugged, I felt a weight lift from my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and I used to talk every day; we’d had a
constant connection of friendship and/or romance for nearly six years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our relationship ended, that connection
had been severed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hardly talked
anymore, and even if we did it was nowhere near what we used to have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been carrying that loss with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew on some level it was there, but I
hadn’t registered the gravity to which it had impacted me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we embraced in that RV, I felt the
weight of that loss flow off me and pool onto the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Roughly two years of pain and heartache were
simply washed away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was shooed off by the MOH (who did a VERY fine job, let me
tell you) and exited the RV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I regained
composure in time for the ceremony to start, only to promptly lose my composure
again as she entered the pavilion during the processional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was as though I was truly seeing her for
the first time; which in a way I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was a new person, unlike the person I had previously known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly there were parts of her former
identity which I could recognize, but now she was truly whole, she held nothing
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
As far as I am aware, I was the only person from our college days who was able
to make it to the wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a
core group of us those years ago, and we were very tight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched the ceremony and snapped a few
pictures with my phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched both
the bride and groom express deep tears of joy at the new life they were
embarking upon together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think
there was a dry eye in the place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
the ceremony was over, I sent a picture to the others who were unable to be
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“She’s married! <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:)</span></span>”
accompanied the image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I received texts
back almost instantly with exclamations of joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><br />
<br />
I waited to go through the receiving line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had been asked to express love and congratulations on behalf of others
who couldn’t be there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One hug for one
person, a second hug for another, and then a third for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ve missed you so much, I’m so happy for
you!” I whispered to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
photographer offered to take a photo of us which had my face rather than the
back of my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t wait to see how
we look with tears of healing and joy on our faces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hugged the groom and we made a decision to get to know
each other better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to know the
person who can make her as happy as she is; she deserves that happiness and he
made it happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any misgivings I had
about him had disappeared the instant I saw her in the RV, and I look forward
to a lifelong friendship with him as well as her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I went to the wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m glad I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know now that I wouldn’t have wanted to
miss it for the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gave me a
gift in inviting me, and I believe it was a gift to both of us that I
went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I texted her that evening after
the wedding with some photos and shared my experience about the weight being lifted;
she responded that she knew exactly what I meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know what will happen next, but I’ll
be honest in saying that I hope she and I can work toward rebuilding a solid
friendship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that we are meant
to be in each other’s lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
My soul feels lighter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels like I’m
taking a deep breath without pain for the first time in a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been granted freedom from something
which was holding me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t
exactly explain everything that happened, I don’t know if I really understand
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that attending the wedding
was some kind of balm for me; it brought to the fore a realization of what had
been suppressed, and it remove the damaged parts of me and replenished them
anew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am still processing and trying to wrap my limited brain
around the magnificence of how God works in this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a firm believer that God uses us to call
each other to life, and I believe that God was at work this weekend in a big
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That I’ve cried three times while
reflecting and writing this speaks to the magnitude of that truth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have the type of relationship where you are invited
to a former lover’s nuptials, my experience would suggest that you should
go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely don’t just show up if you
aren’t invited, there’s probably a reason for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if you are invited, consider allowing
yourself to be open to God’s transformative ways in this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to my ex’s wedding and I learned
things about myself I didn’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
went to my ex’s wedding and came away a changed person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to my ex’s wedding and celebrated as
she married the love of her life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
went. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-19520922945477685162015-09-01T02:18:00.001-04:002015-09-01T21:33:17.885-04:00It's that time of year again!!As of typing this sentence, I will begin my third and final year of study for my Master or Divinity at Boston University School of Theology in 1 day, 7 hours, 55 minutes, 25 seconds.<br />
It seems a bit surreal that two years have come and gone and my final year is upon me. I could tell you about all that I've learned. I could share about my continued questions. Instead, I'll share some experiences from my day. <br />
<br />
For the second year in a row, I went today and helped to orient incoming School of Theology students to Boston University and this, Our Fair City (Thanks Click and Clack for that one being stuck in my head). The program was a bit different this year as we didn't hold the typical Day of Service, but I can sense, nonetheless, anxious and joyful anticipation. After a community lunch, I assisted in leading a group of about ten students around some of the more well-known (and some lesser-known) spots of Boston. I couldn't help but think back to my time as an incoming student during orientation and the anxieties I felt about meeting new people. "Would I fit in and be accepted? Will I be smart enough? Will I handle the pressures? What in the hell am I doing here at seminary?!" Some of these questions have been answered. Some remain. I'm wise enough (read: experienced enough) to know now that all of those first years in my year felt that way, just as the first years last year did, and the first years this year did. I guess it's part of the process when you make that giant leap to trusting in the calling of ministry and relocate to another part of the country, or town, or zip code. Even if you don't really move geographically, seminary is a culture shock which requires movement and change. <br />
<br />
As we walked the streets of Boston (with my good friend and fellow third-year Lambert co-piloting with me) we answered questions of quite a variety. As we gathered around drinks at a local bar, we shouted over the music and other voices to be heard as we shared our fears and dreams, our expectations for seminary and answering our callings from God, and what brought us to the point in time in which our paths intersected. As the gathering moved from the bar to couches in Theo House, bonds were built and memories emblazoned forever in the minds of some. It's a miraculous time, one I am honored to be a part of. <br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to my final year of seminary with joy and trepidation. I don't want these experiences to end, yet at that same time, I recognize that I am being groomed for something beyond the bounds of seminary education. I'm enjoying learning and am thriving upon it, and yet I recognize a yearning deep in my core, a yearning to begin ministering full-time to God's ministry and God's people in this world. It is a delicate balance. <br />
In my first semester of my final year, I will undertake courses which will further challenge me and form me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPGGclnqj8xjOoxHDJEALt-jIGMLmPJw3CMcj6e39T-5pOlU3tIHzU8iZcEjJsVFg6Go06_zKOziuIBP-A2svq3jW7AOXvsG5BmHyeu2tEzcDXgMVrsZWWYPY6oiBw0do-iZUCDjuMkB9A/s1600/Fall+Schedule.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPGGclnqj8xjOoxHDJEALt-jIGMLmPJw3CMcj6e39T-5pOlU3tIHzU8iZcEjJsVFg6Go06_zKOziuIBP-A2svq3jW7AOXvsG5BmHyeu2tEzcDXgMVrsZWWYPY6oiBw0do-iZUCDjuMkB9A/s640/Fall+Schedule.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
Below are the course descriptions for each of the courses, copied and pasted from the respective university's course catalogue. I believe after you read a few you will understand why I am quite excited to be a part of these amazing courses!<br />
<br />
<u>The <span class="highlight">Spirit</span> and the <span class="highlight">Art</span> of <span class="highlight">Conflict</span> <span class="highlight">Transformation</span>: Creating a Culture of Just Peace
</u><br />
This course is a response to the experience of destructive <span class="highlight">conflict</span> in the church and in the world, as well as the experience of religion as a source of <span class="highlight">conflict</span>.
More importantly, it is a response to the call to every Christian to
be ministers of reconciliation and peace builders. The course will
introduce students to the theology, theory and practice of faith-based
<span class="highlight">conflict</span> <span class="highlight">transformation</span>, preparing students to become religious leaders equipped with fundamental tools and skills for engaging <span class="highlight">conflict</span> and transforming <span class="highlight">conflict</span> in a way that advances God's goal of shalom, a culture of just peace.<br />
<br />
<u><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HE; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">UCC History, Theology and Polity</span></u><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric ideograph-other;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HE; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">An exploration of the history, theological understandings,
structures, and practice of ministry in the United Church of Christ. This
course is recommended for those seeking ordination or commissioning in the UCC,
or for those seeking privilege of call; but is open to all. Generally, this
course is to be taken in the last half of one’s seminary studies; exceptions,
however, are possible.</span><u><span class="highlight"><br /><br />Theology</span> and <span class="highlight">Trauma</span> </u></div>
This course aims to bring the recent studies in the interdisciplinary study of <span class="highlight">trauma</span> to bear on the field of <span class="highlight">theology</span>. What unique challenges does the phenomenon of <span class="highlight">trauma</span> pose to contemporary <span class="highlight">theology</span>? The first part of the course explores recent studies in <span class="highlight">trauma</span>, focusing on three areas of research: 1) neurobiology of <span class="highlight">trauma</span>, 2) clinical/therapeutic studies, and 3) literary approaches to <span class="highlight">trauma</span>.
The second part of the course examines theological engagements with
issues of radical suffering. The third part brings together the
insights from the first two and focuses on the question of what it means
to witness theologically to individual, societal, and global <span class="highlight">trauma</span>.
We will look at issues and contexts such as the criminal justice
system, war, poverty, and racism. In this final part, students will be
working towards constructive theological engagements with issues of <span class="highlight">trauma</span>
through interaction with a variety of mediums: art, literature,
spiritual practices, and film. The course is not a counseling
course. It aims to provide rich theological reflection around issues
of suffering, violence, and <span class="highlight">trauma</span>, both individual and global. <br />
<br />
<u>CPE Equivalency Program</u><br />
This course will be fulfilled in a community placement over the entirety of my academic year. I have hopes of splitting my time between a nursing home/rehabilitation facility and a hospital location (I say this with the knowledge that my original placement in a hospital fell through last week and we are now seeking for a new location - but have no fear, we have opportunities and there is much to be determined). The course will encompass 400 hours over two semesters (12 weeks in each
semester equating to roughly 16 hours each week), weekly
group meetings and a weekly supervision meeting, weekly (or bi-weekly)
verbatims and weekly (or bi-weekly) written reflections, and roughly 12 hours each week is spent interacting with patients. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Coupled with all of these great courses is the realization that I will be traveling to India in January to engage closely with the practices of conflict transformation in multicultural and pluralistic societies of South India! We'll spend two weeks traveling from city to city engaging in conversation and learning a bit of the Tamil language, and I am thrilled for this opportunity! Life is good. It's about to be very busy again, but life is good.<br />
<span id="goog_291253796"></span><span id="goog_291253797"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-46822827230005034272015-07-28T11:20:00.002-04:002015-07-28T15:03:19.104-04:00God in the dish roomDuring the Summer, I work at the Walker Center, a Bed and Breakfast
in Auburndale, MA. For those planning a trip to Boston, their website
is walkerctr.org. I also reside on campus in one of the student housing
buildings. This arrangement suits me well as I don't have a commute;
waking at 5:45 for a 6am shift gives me time to dress, brush my teeth,
beat my hair into a presentable fashion (or put on a hat), and walk,
roll, or stumble across the lawn.<br />
<br />
The Walker Center
puts breakfast on seven days a week from 7:30 to 9am. This also suits
me quite fine as I am able to have a hearty breakfast each day before
jumping into the tasks which await me. In addition to the B&B
guests having breakfast, the Walker Center frequently serves as host for
retreat groups. These retreat groups often have meals of lunch and
supper, and groups range in size from smaller, like the group of fifteen
we have arriving in a few days, to larger, like the group of sixty we
had over the weekend. As one can probably imagine when sixty people eat
a meal, there are plenty of dishes to be cleaned afterward; and with
each meal comes the dirty dishes which were used in food preparation.
When three meals are served for sixty, it seems an endless cycles of
dishes; one no sooner completes the washing of dishes from breakfast and
the dishes from lunch begin arriving. I often joke that it's Groundhog
Day (to reference the great movie starring Bill Murray) or that there
is a lapse in the space-time continuum. This is all to say that I have
spent the majority of my time the last week working in the dish room.
More specifically, my time has been spent with these nifty tools, the
sprayer and the sanitizer.<br />
Spending time in the dish room has afforded me time to think. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdiR4OnHcPAX93JoSbL5a-qqIcq4nxdSz3cC3whPT9oHl8TnXx64vh5KBkt5pSRYftS4W1H8kDnopb89i8f1M8-P3wcGl3FRczjFZ_YyBAn0rC1QiJS0K5xjsAZgwtrBxpNeip2FFCOcl/s1600/IMG_2186.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdiR4OnHcPAX93JoSbL5a-qqIcq4nxdSz3cC3whPT9oHl8TnXx64vh5KBkt5pSRYftS4W1H8kDnopb89i8f1M8-P3wcGl3FRczjFZ_YyBAn0rC1QiJS0K5xjsAZgwtrBxpNeip2FFCOcl/s320/IMG_2186.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Dishes
are rinsed with the pressure-sprayer, scrubbed, and placed on blue
racks and sent through the santizer. The sanitizer whirs with
chemicals, hot water, and pressure to make sure that the dishes are
super clean.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP1U1WdzmFS12VG31Q8u64vQwLKfhODBFZf6KQxwlMzxviy2G5rJR7IeaSCgxIYPLKTPs-gH8UZr20a1qH_3tZI-HXIPVrIquBHf3JPpc7vxU5aiLq_GlhGi_D9cXz4baX-7PW6Dda47W3/s1600/IMG_2183.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP1U1WdzmFS12VG31Q8u64vQwLKfhODBFZf6KQxwlMzxviy2G5rJR7IeaSCgxIYPLKTPs-gH8UZr20a1qH_3tZI-HXIPVrIquBHf3JPpc7vxU5aiLq_GlhGi_D9cXz4baX-7PW6Dda47W3/s320/IMG_2183.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
You'll
notice in this image that there is a small ring on the spray handle
which latches onto a hook as a means of securing the sprayer. When I
first started in the dish room, I struggled to hit the hook with the
ring each time I wanted to secure the sprayer. The hook swivels
slightly, the ring wobbles around, and things are covered in soap; all
are components for a less than swift execution. For a while I would
merely let the sprayer dangle before me, but this soon became annoying.<br />
<br />
I've
now been a regular in the dish room for over a month. And I noticed
yesterday, amid the soap and water and chunks of food, that I was
successfully securing that ring on that hook nine out of ten times that I
made the attempt. My experience in the dish room is not unlike that of
a newborn calf, wobbly on its feet at first, but soon walking and
running around. I now know how to wash the dishes correctly from start
to finish, I now know where the many and varied types of items belong. <br />
<br />
I believe that my experiences with the sprayer are similar to my experiences with God. <br />
At
times in my life when I have been troubled or have had significant
decisions to make, my college chaplain and now adopted mother would say,
"Where do you hear God? Where is God in all this?" In the earliest
parts of my developing faith, I didn't know what the heck she was
talking about, or how I should answer. I found myself thinking, "Vic,
God can't talk! I can't listen to what isn't there!" Her questions
perplexed me. <br />
<br />
Now, some years later, I have a
slightly different understanding. I've come to understand more about
the movement of the Spirit, I've come to understand some of the varied
ways in which God beckons us and calls us to a particular place and
time, I've come to recognize that <i>listening</i> is the key. Still, I
don't always know 100 percent that I'm making the "right" decision,
sometimes our paths aren't quite that definitively clear. Sometimes I
still struggle with the aspect of hearing God, of discerning God's voice
from the chaos of the world and the influences of others in the
discerning process.<br />
<br />
I have come to a place now, in my
life, where I ask myself the questions originally posed to me by Vicki
those years ago. I ask them of myself when I am struggling with sermon
writing and need a focused direction. I ask them of myself when I can't
sleep at night and something may be on my mind. I ask them when faced
with significant decisions. Sometimes all I can muster as a response to
the questions is, "I don't know where God is calling me, but I know God
is with me, no matter what I decide to do." I have become not only
more familiar and comfortable with the questions, I have become more
comfortable with the process of listening, reflecting, and following.
Admittedly, I still have an innate desire to forge ahead and make
decisions at a rapid-fire pace, but I am working to curb that in favor
of a more Spirit-filled decision-making process. <br />
<br />
After
my first days in the dish room, I could have surrendered in frustration
at the skills I seemingly lacked. Instead, I continued to spray,
scrub, and sanitize. I dropped plates, knocked pitchers over, and
nearly lost a spoon to the garbage disposal. Instead of claiming
defeat, I stuck it out and did my best, and I did improve. And that's
how I recognized God in the dish room. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-8723956355450837262015-04-29T00:05:00.002-04:002015-04-29T01:06:51.434-04:00Solving the CubeI love solving my Rubik's Cube. Its discernible patterns help my brain to disengage after a long day. I just pulled it from my bag on the train home, and made some new acquaintances in Betsy, Jim, and Jay. Betsy saw the cube and asked if I really knew how to solve it, so from Fenway to Brookline Village, I did just that.<br />
<br />
I think my brain enjoys the cube and its patterns simply because, by now, I know how it works. I know what to do to solve it. After a long day of contemplating rites and ritual, God, grace and compassion, and ecclesiology, the cube is respite. There is no deep consideration required. Don't get me wrong, I am loving seminary and thriving on these deep discussions, but if you only live, eat, and breathe one thing, you'll soon grow less find of it. So I solve the Rubik's cube.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is my last day of classes for my second year of seminary. I cannot, cannot, cannot believe it's come and gone so quickly. Some days I feel like a jumbled up cube... mismatched colors, portions of me turning one direction while other pieces of my entity are firmly grounded. Some days I feel partially solved; I'm still a bit of a mess but I have the foundation to keep growing. And once in a great while, I really feel put together. I think feeling put together is a misnomer, I don't think we ever feel 100% great or perfect about everything in our lives, but maybe being put together is merely knowing how to handle the mayhem. How do we respond to the jumbled mess before us?<br />
<br />
What I've learned in the last two years is immense, both in quantity and in gravity. Serious discussions on life and death issues, relationships, the nature of humanity, social constructs and systems theories, how to engage healthily with people wielding painful weaponry, and concerns of pastoral self-care and boundaries. I've befriended people who have been married, divorced, birthed and parented children, buried parents, honored parents and former mentors, flirted, disagreed, preached, laughed, cried, and loved people from afar, and we've done it all while trying to live authentic diverse lives as people of faith.<br />
<br />
I wouldn't trade these experiences for they are grounding me and serve as the foundational experiences for what I will do for the rest of my life. Throughout life we will all at times be messed up patterns of a Rubik's cube, and sometimes we'll have it all "together." And when we're a mess, the beauty of the solved puzzle is underneath. It's there. We just have to trust and continue seeking.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-26570614508108610792015-04-08T21:08:00.000-04:002015-04-08T21:08:35.951-04:00Keeping Sabbath..?Below is a reflection I wrote regarding Sabbath for my weekly Contextual Education group. <br /><br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Holy Week is done, and with it my first experiences of
“leadership” within the church during such times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent all of Monday and a large portion of
Tuesday resting, a task not achieved without some sense of guilt due to the
amount of work which remains at the end of this academic year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is certainly a part of me which feels I
was wrong to take such leisure time, papers and church projects abound, and yet
there is a part which recognizes the necessity of taking time to rest if for no
other reason than physical health needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
not been the most successful at maintaining my Sabbath this academic year, and
although it late in the semester to begin hammering home stronger habits, I
determined at some point in the past two or three weeks that I wasn’t going to
work myself into ill health anymore for the sake of academic deadlines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve spent far too much time the semester
sick, and now that I’m finally feeling well, I’ve no desire to return to the
land of ilk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I can feel badly about myself for being
further behind on studies, or I can cheer myself for taking the necessary steps
in self-care to ensure that my remaining weeks at my church and BUSTH are as
successful as they possibly can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Much of my
Sabbath was spent sleeping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I
wasn’t sleeping, I was actually cooking a meal for myself, writing a letter to
friends, or talking with loved ones on the phone. There’s something therapeutic
for me in writing letters to people, in putting pen to paper, that is deeply
spiritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ink flowing from the pen
in cursive reminds me of the creative power of human beings, the words remind
me of the constructive and destructive things we can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The act of cooking is in its own ways
personal, causing one to explore the simple question of, “what do I want to
eat?” with the understanding of taste, texture, and temperature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Speaking to loved ones brings about laughter,
smiles, and tears of joy and pain, all of which have helped remind me to whom I
belong and the sometimes powerless reality of humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am growing
to appreciate Sabbath for its abilities not only in replenishing my energies
and spirits but also for its necessary demands which force me to set reasonable
limits for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may have taken me
all year to realize, but I am the only one who can ensure that I am cared for,
I am the only one who can ensure that I have time for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The school work and the church work will
always be there, so time for myself, boundaries, and limits are necessary for
my ministry and my life. The Greatest Commandment is to love God with all my
heart and soul, and to love my neighbor as I love myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore, if I were to extend the same
deadlines and understanding of Sabbath to my neighbors as I do myself, I likely
wouldn’t have many neighbors willing to talk to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wish to extend levels of gratitude and
Sabbath to my neighbors, I must to some degree be willing to extend (and
therefore accept) a similar level of Sabbath to and for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br /></span></span></i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Let it be known that I do indeed feel a sense of backlash over my days of Sabbath. They are not feelings of guilt, but rather the inexorable sense that I've backed myself into a proverbial corner with upcoming deadlines and will in no way successfully complete everything I must in an orderly and appropriate fashion. Truthfully, there are one, if not two and three major projects due each of the remaining weeks of the semester. It will be a memorable feat to finish this semester with any semblance of sanity intact. And yet I trust that all will work out in the end. <br /><br />I'm learning to trust Sabbath, I'm learning to appreciate Sabbath, I'm learning to not be so demanding and hard on myself. It's not easy, but the spiritual practice of Sabbath will, I believe, help me to continue recognizing not only my physical and spiritual needs but to also recognize what REALLY matters in this world. </span></span></div>
<i>
</i><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-12537053764180964042015-03-29T23:45:00.000-04:002015-03-29T23:47:29.006-04:00AH! IT'S HOLY WEEK!It seems it has been far too long since I wrote, and that's because I last published an update on November 2, 2014. That's just about 5 months ago, which is sad and unacceptable and a fair representation of how busy my life has become. Some days or weeks it seems like it simply imploded all around me. So here we are, a new year, a new semester, new experiences since we last conversed. I'll try to bring you up to speed.<br />
<br />
Last semester went really well for me overall in term of grades, and classes certainly provided a wealth of formative learning experiences. My experiences in my internship/contextual education in the Blue Christmas and Christmas Eve service were wonderful. I continue to learn alongside amazing Godly people who challenge me, encourage me, and envelop me in love and support.<br />
<br />
January brought an intense cold from which I never really recovered throughout most of winter. I spent the majority of days from early January to March not feeling well. I'm grateful that I've now had one continuous week of not feeling too bad! <br />
<br />
New semester courses began, I'm taking "Jeremiah in Context," "Evangelism in Contemporary Cultures," "Creating Resilience Amidst Resource Scarcity," and my ITP course which accompanies my internship at the church. Certainly some challenging courses, I've enjoyed them immensely (some more or less than others, obviously) and feel they've been helpful and informative in my continued development toward ministry. <br />
<br />
In Mid-January niece Isabella graced us with her snuggly adorable presence. After a brief and scary stay in the hospital at around 3-4 weeks of age, she is doing quite well and growing, growing, growing. Big sister Vivian adores her, and I'm loving the small opportunities I get to travel home and see my girls. <br />
<br />
February in Boston was snow. I can't say much you don't already know. The city came to a standstill, the MBTA broke and is STILL recovering and moving toward full operations, and we all ended up with cabin fever. I spent some time working on a porch-like structure which can be accessed from the second floor of my home, it's the roof to our dining room, by breaking ice chunks, shoveling snow, and trying to catch drips from dammed up gutters. The amount of damage this winter caused is exceptionally high, many places suffered structural damage from the weight or water damage from... well from the snow. Thankfully, most of the snow has seen fit to melt away with the slightly sunnier days which are getting warmer and longer. <br />
<br />
It's time to register for Fall classes, and I can't believe that I'll be heading into my third and final year of study. It's an odd sensation to write "Fall 3" in little boxes, I didn't expect it to be drawing to a close so soon. Were it possible, I think I would take more time to learn and dig in to these courses. I want to draw in as much as I can, I want to experience ministry from multiple angles, from differing points of view. <br />
<br />
I preached today, Palm Sunday, and then this evening co-led Confirmation Class. The sermon went well, I received feedback from one person, "This was your best one yet!" and from another, "I was with you the entire time!" and a third, "you spoke to my life right now." By and far it was the most feedback I have ever received post sermon, I felt affirmed in my venture as a result of the encouragement of the congregants. I took a play from Vicki's book and napped in my car for an hour from 1:00-2:00, and I found myself slow moving afterward. Perhaps an hour was too long, I never fully recovered to the level I would have liked, but I fear without the nap I would have been irritable. My supervisor and I, in the afternoon before the confirmands arrived, were able to plan a manageable trajectory for the remainder of time we have, I'm hopeful that we'll complete the curriculum we've set before us. <br />
<br />
Up next is Maundy Thursday, but a few assignments and School of Theology events stand between here and there. <br />
<br />
I'm off to bed, I'll try to remind myself to write more frequently if for no other reason than I can look back in twenty or thirty years to where I began my ministry and what I thought about.<br />
<br />
Peace,<br />
Me<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-20146300125500412452014-11-02T23:52:00.001-05:002014-11-02T23:52:22.939-05:00Long DayLong Day. Lot's of Pastoral Care. Learned so so so so much today. Wish I could say more. For now, I'm exhausted and am going to bed.<br /><br />Let me close by saying that my life is good, my life is a blessing. Life in general (as a concept for all people, not simply for me) is often ugly and messy and downright shitty, and yet, at other times, life is beautiful and majestic. <br />
<br />
Good Night.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-67296084898897358112014-10-25T02:12:00.001-04:002014-10-25T16:22:46.439-04:00God, Grace, and Second Chances<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">
In the last weeks, amidst midterm examinations, papers and projects, and
community commitments, I've taken up writing with a penpal. But unlike what you
are likely conjuring in your mind, I'm not writing to a child in a war-torn
country, nor am I writing to an elderly widower seeking companionship. My
penpal lives in prison. <br />
Joseph* is someone from
a past life of mine, someone I hadn't communicated with in over a decade. I
remember him as being a somewhat quiet but kind young man, which is why his
arrest was surprising to me. I will not go into details regarding why Joseph is
in prison, but I will share with you what an inspiration he is to me.
Joseph is serving a twenty-five year sentence, by the time he is eligible for
parole he will be at best fifty years old. He has a child whom he
adores. Joseph offers no excuses for the events in his life which brought
him to where he is today; in fact, as he spelled out to me in a letter the
events that precipitated his arrest, he made it very clear that he had made
some mistakes. Because some of the problems contributing to his arrest are that
both he and his wife were in the throes of addiction, I have a hard time seeing
Joseph as a bad person. I'm in no way excusing his actions or suggesting
that he shouldn't be in prison for his crime, but I am sympathetic to the
problems which led him to where he is today.<br />
Joseph is not allowing
his time in prison to simply waste away; and this is why he is an inspiration
to me. Through various programs in the prison, Joseph has earned his
G.E.D., headed an organization which delivered clothing to a local church for
homeless Veterans and their families during Christmas time, completed a food
safety program, completed a six-month substance abuse program,
taken multiple violence prevention programs, and is heading a new organization
of art therapy for other incarcerated individuals in the hopes that they might be able to stay
out of trouble. He works out regularly and eats healthy meals which he
prepares for himself, writes poetry, draws in charcoal and paints in
watercolor, reads, and is preparing for a college entry exam. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">
Luke 13:6-9 reads, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">
<i>Then he told this parable: ‘A man had a fig tree planted in
his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. So he said to
the gardener, “See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this
fig tree, and still I find none. Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the
soil?” He replied, “Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig round it
and put manure on it. If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not,
you can cut it down.”</i> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">A vineyard owner wants
to cut down a fig tree that isn’t producing fruit and hasn’t in three
years. It’s had three opportunities, and three times it has failed.
The gardener asks for one more year, one more opportunity to help the tree
flourish and bear its fruit. He’ll give it Miracle Grow and special
soil. If it still doesn’t bear fruit, only then can it be cut down. God
is that gardener, rooting for us, tending over us, carefully cultivating us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when we hit our low points, when we fall
short of the task, God doesn't give up on us. When we’re down and out,
God helps pull us up, dust us off, and walks hand in hand with us to the finish
line.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">
There are some who likely believe that Joseph deserved to be cut
down and disregarded, forever a flame snuffed out. Some would say that Joseph's actions exclude him from the love and grace of God. Some might suggest that God has abandoned Joseph as further punishment for his crimes. I think they're all wrong. I believe so firmly that God is love and grace and forgiveness that I cannot in any way conjure an instance in which God would abandon her own children. I can't. And that includes Joseph as well. Despite what actions Joseph took, he is still very much a beloved child of God. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">
Joseph spent a time in his life under producing, it landed him in prison; and it was there that someone served as miracle
grow and helped Joseph flourish. Once he found a solid root base in good
soil, he was able to thrive and change his life. Joseph is working his
way through a second chance, a chance given by God who loves. Rather than
spending his days in a problematic manner, he is instead working to make a
better life for himself so that, hopefully one day upon his release, he will
continue the good work he has been able to accomplish. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;"> I find Joseph inspiring because he could be downright miserable. He sees his child infrequently, he will forever be marked as a felon for the crime he committed, and he will forever live with the guilt of his actions. In his own words, "I can't believe what I did." Yet although it was his own actions which put him in the situation that he is in, he continues to find ways to occupy his time healthily. Although I'm sure prison is at times unbearable, Joseph spent approximately 70% of his letter talking about his deep love for his child and the remaining 30% about the wonderful and awe-inspiring things he is doing. His outlook is truly one of positivity. I pray that Joseph continues to thrive in his environment, that his child knows Joseph's deep love, and that others can see the grace of God around them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;"> Joseph has helped to show me that no one is ever too far gone, that they don't deserve our best efforts. I have to say, I wonder if we spent more time looking out for each other and ensuring we all had enough, some things in Joseph's life may have turned out vastly different. I wonder. and I pray.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="mso-bidi-language: HE;">*Name changed to
protect privacy. If you happen to connect the pieces and know who Joseph
is, please respect his privacy by not divulging such
information in any way. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
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<![endif]-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-82740188001420983622014-09-25T00:27:00.001-04:002014-09-25T00:27:33.859-04:00Rev. Frank Schaefer, United Methodist Clergy and LGBTQ Advocate, visits the School of the ProphetsToday*, the Rev. Frank Schaefer visited Boston University School of Theology. For those unfamiliar with Rev. Schaefer's story, <a href="http://www.wgal.com/news/timeline-a-look-back-at-rev-frank-schaefers-road-to-reinstatement/26640826">this link</a> offers a quick timeline. In short, Rev. Schaefer officiated the marriage of his son to another man in 2007 in the state of Massachusetts, where the union was legal. In 2013, charges were brought up against Rev. Schaefer as his actions had violated a law in the United Methodist Book of Discipline which states that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching, a law which Schaefer, as a United Methodist Clergy, was bound to uphold. A trial ensued throughout much of 2013 which resulted in Rev. Schaefer's initial loss of credentials and then ultimate reinstatement. However, his journey is not over as a Judiciary Appeal requires that he stand trial yet again in late October of 2014. <br />
<br />
Rev. Schaefer has a presence about him that immediately draws you in, and he is an exceptionally gracious individual who felt humbled to be speaking from the pulpit that the Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once spoke from. It seemed only fitting that we have yet another prophetic voice in that of Rev. Schaefer's echoing off the stone walls as his words washed over us. Rev. Schaefer spoke of how we are ALL children of God and that we must draw the circle ever wider. Using the scripture of Jonah and his desire to avoid delivering the message of destruction to the people of Nineveh, Rev. Schaefer paints the theological argument that what is occurring in Jonah is the recognition of the Jewish peoples finding God in all places; during the exile, after the destruction of the temple; and that the goal is to find a way to welcome all people to the place of worship; that Jonah is written from the faction which desired to welcome all of God's children. Rev. Schaefer implored us, the Church, to recognize that we need to be careful of what we say and how we say it. Rev. Schaefer warned against our being the voice of exclusion, of spreading a "terrible message which causes so much harm." The good news is, Schaefer shared, that God is a God of grace and forgiveness, God spared the people of Nineveh as they are "120,000 children who do not know their right hand from their left. 120,000 of my beloved children." Schaefer concluded in saying, "God is all about grace. God is all about unconditional love toward all of God's beloved children. There are no special elect groups from among God's children, we are all God's beloved children. We are called, as United Methodists, as Christians, as Muslims, and Jewish believers, as Buddhists, to draw the circle ever wider." <br /><br />After Rev. Schaefer's sermon, the Seminary Singers performed, "Things That Never Die," an arrangement by Lee Dengler with text by Charles Dickens, found below. <br />
<br />
The pure the bright,<br />
the beautiful that stirred our hearts in youth,<br />
the impulses to wordless prayer.<br />
The streams of love and truth,<br />
the longing after something lost,<br />
the Spirit's yearning cry, the striving after better hopes.<br />
These things can never die!<br />
<br />The timid hand stretched forth to aid another in their need.<br />
A kindly word in grief's dark hour that proves a friend indeed!<br />
A plea for mercy softly breathed when justice threatens high!<br />
The sorrow of a contrite heart. <br />
These things shall never die!<br />
<br />
Let nothing pass! For every hand must find some work to do.<br />Lose not a chance to waken love!<br />Be firm and just and true,<br />
so shall a light that cannot fade, beam on thee from on high.<br />And angel voices say to thee, <br />These things can never die!<br />
<br />
The poetry in this piece resonated ever so with the words of Rev. Schaefer which still lingered in the room. <br />
<br />
In the evening, Rev. Schaefer, joined by his wife and his son, Tim, held an informal Question and Answer session hosted by the Dean's Office and Sacred Worth, the LGBTQ club at the School of Theology. His moving testimony of his experience instantly had me feeling as if I were in the presence of someone and something truly amazing. He shared his story about what brought he and his wife and children to the United States from Germany, his journey into ministry, and his decision to officiate his son's wedding. It was apparent from the start of the discussion that Rev. Schaefer is a man of deep integrity, deep love for his family, and also deep faith. He is able to hold all three in conjunction, there doesn't seem to be a "but" in the equation. His truth and eloquence in sharing his beliefs and his experiences left many pausing in silence.<br />
<br />
I won't share everything from the experience of the day, but it left me riding high. Another student and I spoke the entire ride home on the T (until his stop) about LGBTQ rights and recognitions in various Christian denominations, and when I was off the T I placed a phone call to my beloved Oma and MommaB to share my experience. I will likely never forget this experience, and I am grateful to the Boston University School of Theology for this wonderfully moving, enlightening, and deeply spiritual event. <br />
<br />
For now, I retire to dreams of equality, love, and drawing the circle ever wider. Amen.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*It was still Tuesday when I began this post. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-22341345179514231842014-09-10T15:30:00.001-04:002014-09-10T15:30:04.550-04:00"Let's go for round two!" she says...<div>People, namely my Gramma, have been hinting that I need to post a new blog update. It HAS been several months (a summer hiatus) since I've posted, so I'll admit that there is room for an infusion of information. So, here goes.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm in week two of classes and week three of my internship. A great joy that I can share from my experiences thus far with year two of seminary is that as theological, historical, and philosophical concepts are no longer completely foreign, I am finding my readings not only easier to comprehend but also easier to get through. The first year of seminary taught me about coping with massive amounts of reading, perpetual stress, and always feeling behind. In year two, I've wisened up a bit about how to do readings more effecively and have a better understanding of "what really counts." </div><div><br></div><div>I've noted with year two that, as of right now, my head is still very much above water, which means that I'm feeling in a place where I can deconstruct information more effectively. It's not as much of a situation as, "Wait, that reading said what?" with the goal being understanding, but is instead more a situation of, "Wait, that reading said what?! Let's deconstruct this." So much of last year was new that I felt I was frequently grasping at anything I could merely to hold on through another week, but this year I feel more prepared to say, "I take objection to _____ in this text. Can we reframe this into a more positive vision?" </div><div><br></div><div>My courses this fall are: </div><div>Introduction to Christian Worship</div><div>From Jesus to Christ</div><div>Integration of Theology and Practice (with Contextual Education)</div><div>Introduction to Pastoral Care and Counseling</div><div><br></div><div>Three of my four courses are hitting upon exploration of church setting, self-care, and how we can be effective in ministry; I'll let you guess as to which three those are. My fourth course explores the transition from the historical Jesus to the Christ we know in the Gospels. </div><div><br></div><div>My Contextual Education experience is at the First Congregational Church of Reading in Reading, Ma (I specify because some assume I'm commuting to Reading, PA each week). It is an absolutely wonderful congregation that I am delighted to be journeying in ministry with. In my time there, approximately ten months, I'll be working to co-lead Confirmation class, I will do pastoral care visits, I will engage youth in the church in youth-group type events, I will hold adult spiritual nurturing events, and I will preach eight times between now and mid-May. My supervisor has been exceptionally supportive in allowing me to craft an experience which will not only assist me in learning about the multiple facets of church ministry but will also enable me to use the skills I already know I have to assist the church through its journey in these months. I am so incredibly excited to journey with them, even if for just a short while.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm setting this year before myself to be one of exploration and understanding. I wish to look critically at my life and work consciously on developing healthy habits which will serve me well in ministry. </div><div><br></div><div>Delightfully, I am participating again this year in Seminary Singers, a true joy of my experience here in seminary. Not only has my involvement been a truly wonderful way to meet and get to know some of the students in the years ahead of me, but it has been a way for me to worship while leading. With each performance in a Wednesday service, there is a time where our singing ceases to be 'simply singing' but instead becomes a moment where I can feel the Spirit moving within me. It is, for me, a form of Sabbath, and the connections I have made with these great people will stay with me forever.</div><div><br></div><div>As I draw this to a close (classwork does await), I'll simply state that I would not be where I am without the wonderful people in my life who have helped to shape and guide me to this place. I will refrain from listing names, but if you have ever had an encounter with me of any kind, you have in some way assisted in forming me into who I am today and who I will be tomorrow, and I thank you. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-51250454529717229282014-05-09T22:23:00.004-04:002014-05-14T20:55:36.422-04:00Life Lessons From the BottleI started this post back in March but was sidetracked by school. I'm posting it now! <br />
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I have a group of friends, a foursome, who I study with regularly on Tuesday nights. We all bring individual work, study, and chat a bit. Some nights we chat more than others. Some Tuesday nights are more productive than the last. The one constant of each week is that we split a bottle of wine amongst the four of us. And thus, I give you life lessons from my journey in taking up wine.<br />
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1) To let life really happen, you've got to uncork it. Some wines need to breathe, I learned that in the last two weeks. I still don't quite understand the science behind it, but uncorking a bottle and allowing it to sit and breathe made it much more enjoyable. So uncork your life. Push your boundaries, take in new sights, smells, and ideas, blow off some steam. <br />
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2) Sometimes you have a good year (or season, or month, or week, or day, or holiday, or <b>you get the point</b>) and sometimes you have a bad one. I've seen in the movies where someone in a restaurant will order a bottle of wine and the server will say something to the effect of, "Ah, yes. Very good choice (insert form of address), a very good year!" What does that even mean?! I'm new to the whole wine drinking arena, but I've yet to find something I find completely unpalatable. But I guess it means that we all have good times and we all have bad times. <i>NOTE: what one person considers a bad time might not be something another person would consider a bad time. I'm not making a blanket statement that compares one's position of comfort/despair to another persons. </i><br />
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3) You get what you pay for. If you want a really nice bottle of wine, you're likely going to need to spend more than $7.99 (not that $7.99 wines are bad, some are actually quite fine). Anyway, in life you get out of something what you put in. If you want that promotion at work, you'd best work your tail off and prove you want it (and have earned it)! <br />
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4) But at the same time, looks can be deceiving. Cork or twist top? Dark intriguing label or the pretty bright one? I'm a fan of the cork tops mainly because I have an affinity for using a corkscrew. Call me weird, it's okay. But I also know that I've had some fairly decent wines which came from a twist-off bottle. This speaks to me about not casting someone off as useless based upon the exterior presentation.<br />
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5) Life is better when spent in numbers. It is largely safer to share a bottle of wine among friends than to drink it alone. I've experienced drinking an entire bottle on my own in a sitting. I was not pleasant to be around the next day.. If you share the bottle with people, it also means you can make connections over a common interest...namely, drinking wine.<br />
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I'll wrap this up here...What have YOU learned from a bottle of wine? Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-62819424069318812032014-02-26T15:24:00.001-05:002014-02-26T23:38:29.881-05:00You Can't Preach Love While Standing in the Camp of Discrimination<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Today in chapel, the guest preacher spoke on portions of Paul's letter to the Corinthians. My notes include some of the following:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-You are a building built upon a foundation. You are a building which was developed on a solid foundation that someone else has put time, energy, and love into creating. If you're a Christian, that foundation was built by God (in addition to your parents) as an ultimate act of love. Your role as a building is to build others so that they may build. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-To be of Christ is to be of love, hope, and the power of life.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-People come to church for Salvation and Resurrection.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-It's not easy to make God angry... give up trying. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-We are all of Christ.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Overall, not too bad a list. It's fairly Christian centric, but it speaks to overarching values of love, grace, and hope. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Truth time, I debated whether or not I would attend Boston University School of Theology <i>because</i> I am openly lesbian and was concerned about the United Methodist's current doctrine in the Book of Discipline which claims that homosexuality is incompatible with God's teaching. I thought for a long time about whether I would be fully welcomed into a community which held doctrine in opposition to a part of my personhood. Delightfully, I chose to come to BUSTh because I truly felt God calling me here to build the foundation of my ministry, and I feel that I made the right decision. Not once have I been made to feel like my sexuality places me as a second class citizen. Not once have I felt like I had to hide who I was. Every day I have felt welcomed, loved, and held up as a child of God and someone with sacred worth. Until today. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I listened to the preacher as (in my perception) his strong sermon crumbled. This person told of how he believes that LGBTQ persons are people of sacred worth. This person then told of how he upholds the Book of Discipline and the doctrine against full welcoming of LGBTQ people in the church; he cited his belief in the scripture as his reason for doing so. This person said that he didn't care what the result of the 2016 General Conference of the United Methodist Church was pertaining to this critical issue. His final premise essentially is that we are all people of Christ, no matter what the outcome of the conference will be. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You can't preach love while standing in discrimination. The two concepts stand in direct opposition to each other. To love someone is to welcome them fully in their entire personhood in everything that encompasses. To suggest that someone is welcome as long as they do not disclose a part of who they are is to hold them in a state of limbo. It says, "you're almost human, but not quite." It suggests, "you're worthy of my respect if you don't tell the truth about who you are." It upholds the status quo of people being treated as second class citizens. It says, "you're not good enough." Enough is enough. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Unsurprisingly, I am not the only person who feels angered, hurt, and offended by what happened in chapel today. It was an invasion and a gross abuse of our safe space. I have never felt so out of place and hit from left field here at STH as I did today. I felt personally attacked, as did many of my brothers and sisters. Some of us left. Some of us stayed. Some of us took Communion. Some of us didn't. MANY of us cried. Many of us held hands in comfort and solidarity. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The question now is, where do we go from here? How do we move forward from this pain in productive ways? How do we heal the wounds and scars? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am so damn sick and tired of people holding onto prejudices and sanctioning discrimination in the name of God. I am exhausted by the continual flow of shit that is poured on other human beings. I am disgusted by the culture of status quo that continually withholds God's love for all people. Bottom line, it's bullshit. It's garbage. It needs to end. What the hell needs to happen for people to come to the recognition that God is love in full and human equality? It's particularly disheartening when someone taking his/her own life is not enough of a catalyst to see where people have done wrong and committed such egregious acts of hurt and pain. I say it again, what the hell needs to happen? People are dying (literally and metaphorically) and the status quo continues. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Indifference because "we're all of Christ" solves nothing. Indifference because you <b>might</b> see all people as sacred and children of God regardless of what society at large tells you does nothing for ensuring the full equality and personhood of all people in the ministry and love of God. ALL PEOPLE ARE WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE! ALL PEOPLE! To say otherwise is to be a church of exclusion. To be a church of exclusion is to not truly be a church of Christ. Christ worked with the people on the margins; the people who were undesirable, the people who were looked down upon, the people who were kicked to the curb. Your indifference because we're all equal in the eyes of God does nothing to help bring people comfort and equality. Your indifference asks people to sacrifice who they truly are, people of faith and whatever else they might be. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am so glad I am a member of the United Church of Christ where I can be truly, honestly, and unapologetically who I am. "No matter who you are or where you are on life's journey, you're welcome here." But the UCC takes it a step beyond simply welcoming all people. The UCC says, "we value you, we do not simply tolerate you." Toleration is the low hanging fruit. Reach higher. Climb that tree and find what grows higher up in the branches. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me close with this: The BUSTh community is phenomenal. Through discussion, hugs, and shared laughter, we can make it through. When you're feeling down, there are people who care who help pull you through. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I may come back and edit this later. I may not. I may put more information in. I may write a secondary follow-up blog post. I haven't decided. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-5518883680784816342014-02-12T02:52:00.000-05:002014-02-12T02:52:11.569-05:00Week 5... Can't SleepIt's 2am on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and I can't sleep. Sadly, this isn't atypical. It's a fairly regular thing for me to see 2:00 or later before being able to fall asleep, only to have to rise at 6:30 or 7:00 to make it to school on time. It's not as if I try to stay up either. I do my evening routine of brushing the chompers, washing the face, saying prayers, combing out my long mane, and then when I snuggle into bed...BAM! The mind races and the body says, "let's do something!" Or maybe it's the mind that says, "let's do something!" it's hard to determine who the culprit is. Warm milk, decaffeinated tea, my usual tricks... nothing seems to help. <br /><br />Oma would say, "what are you thinking about when you lie awake at night?" The short answer is, "I wish I could sleep!" while the longer and more truthful answer is likely to be "there's so much work to do and not enough time to do it all." <i>Cue anxiety and panic</i>. We're in week five of the semester and I still haven't been able to find the groove which allows me to <b>get it all done</b>. Okay, I know that's an illusion and that there's no way to get it ALL done, but a woman can dream, right? Alternate reality? Time warp? TARDIS? So here we find ourselves... me writing away well past my bed time (if I still have one) while I wait to fall asleep. And you're going to say, "well of course you won't fall asleep if you're sitting up and typing!" to which I respond, "Well, I'm up for some reason, let's write and see what comes of it. Maybe I'll clear out some junk, discern what is trying to be communicated, and start getting some sleep. It can't hurt." So now onto the news...<br /><br />Seminary is great! I can't say enough how much I'm enjoying my classes. Each day offers a plethora of learning opportunities for one to engage in, and there are a multitude of wonderful people to share the day and life events with. All in all, it's a great community of spectacular people, and I am grateful each day for the opportunity to be in ministry, fellowship, and community with them.<br />My classes are not only intellectually stimulating, but they are engaging in a way that brings ministry into a different picture. It's enjoyable to be able to make connections between two classes which you might not think are connected. Perhaps a fuller description of my class content is necessary, but I'll hold that off for another time. As it's now 2:48 and I'm starting to feel drowsy, we return to what prompted this late night posting.... I'm awake when I should be sleeping.<br /><br />I believe I'm awake for a reason. I'd much rather be sleeping, but something is calling me away from the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, so I'll sit and ponder a bit, listen even more, and feel for the beating drum in my soul. As I close this up for now, I'll leave you with Wynken, Blynken, and Nod. And when I figure out what it is I'm supposed to know, I'll likely let you know. <br /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night<br />
Sailed off in a wooden shoe —<br />
Sailed on a river of crystal light,<br />
Into a sea of dew.<br />
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"<br />
The old moon asked the three.<br />
"We have come to fish for the herring fish<br />
That live in this beautiful sea;<br />
Nets of silver and gold have we!"<br />
Said Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.<br />
<br />
The old moon laughed and sang a song,<br />
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,<br />
And the wind that sped them all night long<br />
Ruffled the waves of dew.<br />
The little stars were the herring fish<br />
That lived in that beautiful sea —<br />
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish —<br />
Never afeard are we";<br />
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:<br />
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.<br />
<br />
All night long their nets they threw<br />
To the stars in the twinkling foam —<br />
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,<br />
Bringing the fishermen home;<br />
'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed<br />
As if it could not be,<br />
And some folks thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed<br />
Of sailing that beautiful sea —<br />
But I shall name you the fishermen three:<br />
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.<br />
<br />
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,<br />
And Nod is a little head,<br />
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies<br />
Is a wee one's trundle-bed.<br />
So shut your eyes while mother sings<br />
Of wonderful sights that be,<br />
And you shall see the beautiful things<br />
As you rock in the misty sea,<br />
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:<br />
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod. </span></div>
<br />
<br /><br />
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<h1 class="TITLE">
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod</h1>
by Eugene Field
<br />
<pre>Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we,"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
Never afraid are we!"
So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea;
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.</pre>
- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<h1 class="TITLE">
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod</h1>
by Eugene Field
<br />
<pre>Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we,"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
Never afraid are we!"
So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea;
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.</pre>
- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf</div>
<div id="stcpDiv" style="left: -1988px; position: absolute; top: -1999px;">
<h1 class="TITLE">
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod</h1>
by Eugene Field
<br />
<pre>Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we,"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
Never afraid are we!"
So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea;
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.</pre>
- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-91911518645315024342014-01-10T21:28:00.001-05:002014-01-10T21:28:13.807-05:00Round 2I haven't written in a while. It's been far too long, in fact, but I know I'm forgiven. <br /><br />My first semester in seminary was a whirlwind of excitement, learning, and grappling with constructs and information. I had a great semester, and my grades were all decent. For someone who didn't grow up attending church, doesn't have an undergraduate degree in any form or theological or religious studies, and is all-in-all feeling like a newbie to this whole game, I fared quite well for my first semester. And... I'm delighted to report that it was such a success that I'm getting ready to head into round two! <br /><br />My class schedule is as follows: <b>BOLD is the class title</b>, <i>ITALICS is a discussion group</i><br />
<br />
Monday: Nothing (which translates to library time)<br />
Tuesday: 9:30 - 11am: <b>Reading the World II</b><br />
Tuesday: 11am - 12:30: <b>Intro to New Testament</b><br />
Tuesday: 1pm - 2pm <i>Intro to New Testament Discussion Group </i><br />
Wednesday: 10am - 11am: <i>Reading the World II Discussion Group</i><br />
Wednesday: 1pm - 5pm: <b>Practicing Faith II</b> <i>and Discussion Group</i><br />
Thursday: 9:30 - 11am: <b>Reading the World II</b><br />
Thursday: 11am - 12:30: <b>Intro to New Testament</b><br />
Thursday: 2pm - 5pm: <b>Church in Late Antiquity</b><br />
Friday: Nothing (which once again translates to library time)<br />
<br />
In visual form, it looks like this:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiV5_wSCDZHTOSxXKLlfdRAOneyq-eW_PryI_8w5ATlH3mKvNhiB_X4OVHRFooxEdHzBPEzwaXFcRfh4J-aQ9KafbK16KkysJgo5OXguRfR4Ghw6zyae0f8fFL5xp0OgKIsfO7iqfSVNHS/s1600/Spring+Semester+Grid.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiV5_wSCDZHTOSxXKLlfdRAOneyq-eW_PryI_8w5ATlH3mKvNhiB_X4OVHRFooxEdHzBPEzwaXFcRfh4J-aQ9KafbK16KkysJgo5OXguRfR4Ghw6zyae0f8fFL5xp0OgKIsfO7iqfSVNHS/s1600/Spring+Semester+Grid.JPG" height="190" width="400" /></a></div>
It's looking to be a pretty favorable schedule, particularly when comparing last semester's Wednesday's to this semester's.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to getting into the class work and seeing my friends again. I'll post a life update in a couple days.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-27424688555480324852013-11-28T20:03:00.001-05:002013-11-28T20:10:46.256-05:00ThankfulI'm thankful. I've not written in nearly three weeks... sorry about that. Life has been busy. Instead of catching you up on what we've missed, I'm just going to tell you about why I'm thankful today.<br />
<br />
I'm thankful that I have a phenomenal family who loves me unconditionally.<br />
I'm thankful that my siblings and I were able to mess with Mom's village today... I still want to put the tavern right next door to the church.<br />
I'm thankful that my absolutely kick-ass awesome amazing girlfriend traveled an hour, all the way down here, to spend time with me, even when she has to be to work at 7am in Syracuse.<br />
I'm thankful for the laughter that filled this house and others today.<br />
I'm thankful for Vivian hugs. She's at the age where she is giving really good squeezes when she jumps into your lap and throws her little arms around your neck.<br />
I am thankful for the absolutely amazing people I have come to know and cherish in seminary. They are some of the most absolute top notch people.<br />
I'm thankful for amazing opportunities to meet such amazing figures as Bishop Gene Robinson and Bishop Peter Storey. Each had such enriching lives that they shared with us.<br />
I'm thankful for the Campus Ministry program at the State University of New York at Cortland as it set me on the path to ministry. I am forever grateful for the experiences and relationships built in those years.<br />
I'm thankful for T.A.s and Professors who email even when we're on a mini break, because the work never ends.<br />
I'm thankful for my parents who have helped me with car trouble over the years.<br />
I'm thankful for the Walker Center, an amazing community in which I reside.<br />
I'm thankful for presentations that go well.<br />
I'm thankful for a warm bed and food in my belly, I know some are not as fortunate.<br />
I'm thankful that I remembered to give thanks for the farmers when saying grace this year so that I didn't have to hear Grandma Knight complain. :)<br />
I'm thankful for my church family at Homer Congregational Church AND East Side Congregational.<br />
I'm thankful for the spider killers in my life.<br />
I'm thankful for people who really get me.<br />
I'm thankful for the wonderful adopted family God has blessed me with.<br />
I'm thankful that I'm proofreading each line as I continually try to type "thanksfull."<br />
I'm thankful for the Seminary Singers, and I am SO glad that I decided to join them!<br />
I'm thankful that I was able to help Mom prepare the house and the meal yesterday and today. It was simply nice to spend some time with her.<br />
I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow in my faith, to consider new avenues of ministry, to push myself, to stand up when others sit down.<br />
I'm thankful to be participating in a Mac and Cheese cook-off on Wednesday.<br />
I'm thankful for the time I had with my great grandfather, an absolutely amazing man who we all still miss dearly.<br />
<br />
I'm just, I'm thankful. I am thankful for so much more in my life, people and places and experiences not on this list. I'm thankful to love and to be loved. I'm thankful for the opportunity to sit with people in light times and in dark, to be a presence of peace and justice, to challenge and criticize the status quo and the wrongs in our world.<br />
<br />
I'm thankful.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-16903435858878170932013-11-12T01:17:00.000-05:002013-11-12T01:17:40.523-05:00Things I don't tell my parents...There are things I don't tell my parents: <br />
1) I don't tell my parents when I get home at an unreasonably late hour.<br />
2) I don't tell my parents when I have to walk home late at night.<br />
3) I don't tell my parents when my diet sucks, or I go a week without much sleep, or when I go to the bar and have just a hair more than I should to drink. <br />
4) I don't tell my parents when I forget to do laundry for two weekends in a row and am therefore forced to stay up after 1am on a Monday night to Tuesday morning because I have a meeting at 8am and I ran out of clean pants, socks, and shirts. <br /><br />This list could go on. And on. But not too far because I don't really live a life in which there are things I feel I really need to keep from my parents. No law breaking... nothing risque. <br /><br />There are things I don't tell my parents. It's not as if I'm naive enough to think that they aren't aware, because they are. They know that there are strings of nights where I get minimal sleep because of papers, quizzes/exams, and projects. They know I go out with friends on Thursday nights. They know that sometimes I don't leave campus until 11:30 which means I'm walking through my door at around 12:30. But I don't tell them when it's happening in that moment. Why? I think it's two pronged...<br /><br />1) I think it's my way of exerting my level of adulthood. By keeping some things in my life to myself, no matter how trivial, significant, or just downright everyday experiences they might be, I'm establishing my life. I think that as we all age, we strive to be seen as adults. Unfortunately, (or fortunately for some) the terms and parameters that define adulthood are shifting and changing as our economy and culture continues to morph. We each define adulthood in varying ways, and each personal perspective is worth merit and recognition. But let me tell you, when you're a 25-year old seminary student who is relying on student loans and the generosity of others to get through school, when you're still on your parents' medical insurance, and when you don't have a job or other form of responsibility outside of school to hold onto, the concept of conventionally defined adulthood can kinda slip away. So, by not telling my parents about aspects of my life (and I'm being truly honest when I say there really isn't anything unfit to share), I'm holding onto those few things that I can claim as my measure of adulthood. <br />
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2) I don't tell my parents about everything in my life because I don't want them to worry. I know they do anyway. And I know that even as I grow and mature, I'll always be their daughter, but I somehow feel it necessary to shield them from the additional worry if they KNOW that in a specific moment I might be doing something that could potentially put me in danger. I'm not certain it would fully play out like this, but I can guess that if I told my mom I was staying at the library until it closed at 1am and then had roughly an hour trek back to home, she'd ask me to call her cell phone or text and leave a message when I got home safely. It's not as if these requests are overly challenging or too much to ask. But I want to free my parents from some of the worrying that they already do and some of the worrying that they no longer need to do. I think one sign of adulthood comes when you seek to protect your parents in ways that they protected you as you grew. <br /><br />Here are some things I do tell my parents:<br />1) Jokes and experiences from my adventures on the T<br />2) When I get good grades (or sometimes not-so-good ones)<br />
3) Weekend plans<br />4) When my slippers start falling apart<br />
5) When I'm just slightly overstressed<br />
6) My holiday schedule (when I know it)<br />
7) That I love themAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-10913000384461274332013-11-02T12:50:00.000-04:002013-11-02T12:50:02.824-04:00We are infinite as the universe we hold inside.So, I started Thursday with wanting to tell about my day in pictures, just pictures. Between the time I awoke and entered my classroom, I had about 20 to 25 pictures for this montage. Then a really crappy lecture and discussion took the wind out of my sails, and I decided to table the picture idea for a while. I'll pick it back up at another time.<br /><br />I then thought about writing about the absolutely horrible classroom experience, but I'm opting not to do that. Because this is my blog and I can do that. And because things are in process. And I figure I'll spare you the content. <br /><br />So, I'm going to backtrack to last weekend when Oma and Momma B were here and how amazing the weekend was, because that's what I need for my soul right now. Let's see, the weekend in a nutshell involved baseball watching at a bar, seafood in Copley Square, Sunday morning at First Parish Cambridge where we met Fred Small, sharing time in Marsh Chapel, listening to Ingrid Michaelson, and laughing like idiots. We found this great little bar in Waltham which may or may not become a hang-out for me and some friends, time will tell. <br /><br />It's tough to tell what my favorite part was, I think I was just so darn tickled to have them come that we could have sat around reading newspapers all day and I would have been just as pleased. Next time they promise to come for a bit longer period of time so that we can experience more together. We never made it to the art gallery as planned, and there were a few other odds and ends we just couldn't squeeze into the short time. But what is important to me is just that we had some really sweet time together. One night we went to the bar with Jason and Tina. Jason is a classmate, and he and Tina moved here from California. They're absolutely wonderful people, and I am looking forward to spending more time with them in the future. And I know Oma and Momma B were excited to meet some of my classmates and the people of my Walker Center community. <br /><br />I naturally felt sad when they left, but have been pondering something throughout the week. Oma said in reference to my sadness, "you don't have family yet." She's right, and I've been turning it over in my mind. I love Boston. I love the Walker Center. I love school. I love my classes and my classmates. But they aren't family yet. I can't build in nine weeks what it took me five and twenty-five years to build in my life. It'll happen, the foundation is being laid with some really amazing and exceptional people. <br /><br />Yeah, that's about all I've got. I leave you with this ear-worm from <i>Sleeping at Last</i>, the song "Sun" because it is speaking to me today.<br />
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With golden string<br />
our universe was clothed in light.<br />
Pulling at the seams,<br />
our once barren world now brims with life,<br />
that we may fall in love<br />
every time we open up our eyes.<br />
I guess space, and time,<br />
takes violent things, angry things<br />
and makes them kind.<br />
<br />We are the dust of dust.<br />
We are the apple of God’s eye.<br />
We are infinite as the universe we hold inside.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-43173009341291655492013-10-25T22:01:00.000-04:002013-10-25T22:06:18.550-04:00Blur is a Blessing: The Days are a Whirlwind, Yet the Moments Spectacular Seminary life is absolutely crazy. There is ALWAYS something to do whether it be more reading or the never ending amounts of writing, yet I find myself loving it. Usually Mondays are a bit quieter because I only have one class, but that is also dependent upon how much work I've completed over the weekend. Usually by Monday most everything is done, but occasionally there's that last thirty pages to read, it's just how it goes. <br />
The last few days in particular have been a blur of craziness. Wednesday I arrived to campus around 9am and went to the library for a few hours to work on a paper. At 10:30 Seminary Singers gathered to do a brief warm-up and rehearsal, and worship started at 11:15. At noon each Wednesday we have community lunch, and this week was the first that we were in our newly renovated green space in the basement of STH! We've waited for this day, and we were excited to join together as we blessed our new space. Class from 1:00 to 4:45 followed by a brief time to head to the library for a bit. 6:00 brought Hebrew Bible where we had F-18s from game one of the World Series fly overhead and shake our classroom right as someone mentioned something about God being angry on the scripture of topic. We looked at the story of Rahab and the spies from a Sex and Gender lens, and I realized that I'd read the wrong materials for class (oops!!) When class ended at 9:00, I went home, walking over the St. Mary's bridge I admired the lights from Fenway as I chatted with Dad on the phone.<br />
Thursday started with class at 9:30. Class wrapped at 11:00, and I promptly went to the library to try and read for my Hebrew Bible class so that I might actively participate in discussion. While at the library I wrote up an assignment about coded situations for another class and finished revising a paper due next week. Discussion group started at 4:00, and my participation was slightly successful. I wish I'd gotten through more of the reading, but the bonus is that I am well prepared for next week! At 5:00 I went... yep, you guessed it, back to the library to work on my Exegesis paper for Hebrew Bible. I have two resources that are absolutely phenomenal: an Accordance app on my iPad, and The New Interpreter's Bible Commentary on CD-Rom. LIFE SAVERS! I don't know Hebrew, and these two tools are useful in getting a bit closer to the original intention of the scripture I'm working with. At 6:00 I went for Indian food for ThursGay. Yes, you read that right, ThursGay; a group of LGBTQ people and allies from STH gather for supper. I had to walk past Fenway to get to the restaurant, and I was approached three times by people asking if I was selling any tickets to Game 2. Negative my friend,I couldn't afford a ticket to begin with. At 7:00 I headed back up to the Tsai Performing Arts Center to listen to Bishop Gene Robinson as part of the Lowell Lecture Series through the School of Theology. After the lecture, I went to the BU Pub to gather with some classmates, and then tried to beat the baseball rush home.<br />
Today I went to the library and did some school work, the bank and ordered checks, the post office and sent a package to Mamasan and Papasan (you should receive it on Thursday), the barbershop and got a haircut, the grocery store and bought more ice cream, and finally home to where I did school work, ate a salad for supper, and took a nap.<br />
Anyway, life is busy. Sometimes I lose track of what I've done on one day because I do so many things. But it is these moments in these days that I find absolutely spectacular. To be a part of something when blessing the renovated space I will use for the foreseeable future was amazing. I shared a moment with Odette, an Instructor in the Practice of Ministry and Director of Field Education at Pacific School of Religion, and she offered some phenomenal ministry advice. Thursday allowed me to interact with new people in a wonderful way. <br />
Bishop Gene Robinson is the first openly gay Bishop in the Episcopal
Church (now retired), and he just returned from a meeting with the ArchBishop of
Canterbury. He encouraged us to go out and be prophets to the world. He
shared how God's church is big enough for everyone. He shared that we
are all going to heaven, it's a done deal; so we only need to go into
situations and do the best that we can. If we make matters better in a
situation, we're going to heaven. If we happen to make matters worse in a
situation, we're going to heaven. He encouraged us to go into the church and blow things up (metaphorically of course). Check out his lecture, <a href="http://new.livestream.com/accounts/4958196/events/2491928">http://new.livestream.com/accounts/4958196/events/2491928</a>. To be able to speak with such a gracious man for just a few minutes was an absolute wonder. He has a way of making you feel he is your dearest friend with just a hand shake and a hug. Hearing names like Howard Thurman and Martin Luther King Jr. on a regular basis, coupled with meeting Rev. Gene Robinson has me feeling like I'm standing in the company of giants. <br />
On the way home I met a father who took his son to Game 2. They left early when the young
lad was falling asleep in his seat. The father was concerned when our
train stopped and made us get off six stops short of our destination, he
worried his son wouldn't have a seat on the next train that picked us
up. I helped them find the way to our waiting point for the next train, and simply explained to the man that sometimes the train you're on has its final destination change en route. It's frustrating, but doesn't seem to occur too often. <br />
Then there was the man I spoke to while waiting for the next train to come along and
take us the rest of the way. He is originally from Boston, but had spent
the last several years in Texas. He served as a lay leader in a UU
church there, while also living in a vow of poverty. Here he works at an
adult learning center during the day, at night he lays electrical line
with a crew of workers. Eventually he hopes to go back to Texas, but for right now is calling Boston home. We started to talk when he noticed the UCC sticker on my water bottle and asked if I was a seminary student, and the conversation moved freely from there. A twenty minute wait for the next train caused him to be late for work, but he expressed appreciation in having had some time to speak with me.<br />
For the walk from the T stop to home I chatted with a young woman who moved here from South Korea nine months ago. She's
studying English at the Kaplan school while the rest of her family is
back in South Korea. Our conversation covered topics such as snowfall and winter in Boston (it's the first for both of us!), the way the weather is changing, baseball (logically of course), and Halloween. She exclaimed her excitement about Halloween,
particularly that she is attending a party in New York City next week.<br />
Today I noted that it was time to bust out my winter hats. With having shorter hair, I definitely feel the wind more, so my winter hats will be good for keeping my noggin warm. I stopped at one time today to enjoy the sunshine on my face as I crossed the St. Mary's bridge to school. For a moment, the world stood still. The traffic around me and below on 95 ceased. The noise stopped. I simply was. When I opened my eyes again, I looked up to see Marsh Plaza. It's so perfectly framed between the buildings of Commonwealth Avenue and the trees, I can't help but smile when I see it. It reminded me that this time in my life will be over before I know it. I want to savor it. I want to make it a part of my journey that I will look back upon with joy and fondness. I want it to last for as long as I need it to. Joni Mitchell sings in the Circle Game, "We're captive on the carousel of time" as well as, "Take your time. It won't be long now.<br />
'Til your drag your feet to slow the circles down." Such true statements. I wish I could drag my feet and make these experiences take just a bit longer in my life. I cannot fathom that I'm already eight weeks into the fifteen weeks of the semester. It doesn't seem possible. <br />
I sometimes feel guilty that I haven't done more of the exploring of the city that I had hoped to do. But I'm also realizing that in doing what I did this week and engaging in conversation with new people is 'living life' for me. The museums are great, but they'll be there when I'm on winter break and over the summer. These moments when I encounter new people are more in line with what I'm here to do. When I pour over my books in the library and unearth the meaning of a word or consider something in new light, that brings such a sense of accomplishment (and joy) to my life. When I enter my home and hear laughter from the kitchen and stop to say hello, that's a blessing. When I go to get my hair cut and the woman remembers what she did last time (this is only my second hair cut in Boston), I begin to feel more at home. <br />
Life is a blur. But I'm recognizing that it's about finding the little moments in life where time stands still and you feel a difference. Blur can be a blessing. <br />
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This weekend Oma and Momma B come to visit. It will a spectacular weekend where I'll actually make it to an art gallery/museum and enjoy some seafood. I'm very excited for them to be here! REALLY! <br />
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BONUS track: Things I saw on the T this week...<br />1) A woman standing and knitting on a VERY crowded T. It may be a slight safety hazard.<br />2) The man passed out with three empty beer cans under his seat.<br />3) The man performing yoga stretches in his seat. It was quite impressive. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-55366920979337442182013-10-17T17:37:00.001-04:002013-10-19T11:27:59.803-04:00What's Love Got to do With it? Everything!<div>
Thursday was absolutely gorgeous. After a 90 minute lecture and 40 minutes on the phone with the DMV, I took the opportunity to have lunch with a friend at UBurger. For anyone in the Boston area or ever nearby, try UBurger. </div>
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The sun was shining on our return walk, and it made the stroll quite nice. As we walked near Marsh chapel, my friend noticed the "Common Ground Communion" happening in the plaza. She veered off to take communion, and I walked along, finally stopping near the school of theology to wait and watch. </div>
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I was struck deeply by the love surrounding that communion table. People journeying together on this walk of life, a sign which read, "All Are Welcome!" It stood in significantly sharp contrast to the demonstrators calling for an impeachment of President Obama, they having gone so far as to draw a mustache reminiscent of Adolf Hitler's on Obama's presidential portrait. </div>
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On one side, love and unity. On the other, hatred and division. On one side, grace and peace. On the other, upheaval and chaos. There is much to be witnessed in a small amount of space and time, if only we take the moment to stop and observe. </div>
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Admittedly, I found myself critiquing the anti President Obama sentiments as I watched. It may have something to do with the notion that I actually like President Obama; he's not perfect by any standard, but none of us are. He inherited a big mess to work with, and I honestly think he's trying to do his best. Rather, I think my critique came from a place of unease about the tactics used. Call me an idealist, but I'm much more of a 'catch flies with honey' kind of gal. If the two demonstrators had set up a sign which read, "Ask me why I think we should impeach President Obama!" I'd be more likely to stop and engage in conversation. That's not to say I definitely would engage, but I'd be more likely to do so than with their current tactic. </div>
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It's easy to see God and love in the communion table, in the elements of the bread and the cup. It is significantly harder to see God and love in the actions of the demonstrators, not particularly for what they espouse to believe but for the way they go about it. I don't know of many people who would say that Adolf Hitler was a good man. His name and image is enough to make people bristle in discomfort over the atrocities committed in NAZI Germany leading up to and during World War II. His is an image which conjures the notion of hatred, it has been adopted to illustrate evil and the absolute worst society can offer. I will admit to not knowing every single act President Obama has carried out during his presidency, but I'm fairly certain he hasn't relegated an entire demographic to labor camps under excruciating conditions and death chambers or painful and inhumane scientific experiments for the benefit of his own political gain. </div>
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Hatred, many say, is the antithesis of love. St. Augustine would say that everything, even evil, comes from a place of love; the evil happens when love goes wrong. If you've followed me to this point, congratulations! I'm still formulating my argument into coherent statements. </div>
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My point is this, in everything you do, work from a place of love. The good, honest, piece of life-giving soul sharing love. The love that connects you to another human being in a way that tells you, "God is in this." Let love overflow, spilling from God to the earth to you to another person and beyond. To show love is to bring forth light and illuminate the dark and scary places. To receive love is to feel the strength and courage to address the dark spots in the hearts deep core. Giving and receiving says, "you do not walk alone." </div>
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Love is stronger than hatred. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83397689320171268.post-10151996211035828112013-10-15T20:57:00.001-04:002013-10-15T20:57:53.378-04:00Super happy!I got to see Mark and Lilly! I got to see Mark and Lilly! We had Thai for supper on Commonwealth and had some time to catch up. <div><br></div><div>Lilly and I worked together over my year at New York Campus Compact, and I will forever cherish her guidance and mentoring. She is a gem and a true friend. </div><div>Her husband Mark was a doctoral student at Cornell, and we used to carpool together many times a week. </div><div><br></div><div>Well, we're all in Boston now, and it was an absolute treasure to see them for supper. Thanks, Mark and Lilly, for making my evening so sweet!</div><div><br></div><div>Now, back to school work!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12393551762205866991noreply@blogger.com0