You Can't Preach Love While Standing in the Camp of Discrimination

Today in chapel, the guest preacher spoke on portions of Paul's letter to the Corinthians.  My notes include some of the following:

-You are a building built upon a foundation.  You are a building which was developed on a solid foundation that someone else has put time, energy, and love into creating.  If you're a Christian, that foundation was built by God (in addition to your parents) as an ultimate act of love.  Your role as a building is to build others so that they may build.  

-To be of Christ is to be of love, hope, and the power of life.

-People come to church for Salvation and Resurrection.

-It's not easy to make God angry... give up trying. 

-We are all of Christ.

Overall, not too bad a list.  It's fairly Christian centric, but it speaks to overarching values of love, grace, and hope.  

Truth time, I debated whether or not I would attend Boston University School of Theology because I am openly lesbian and was concerned about the United Methodist's current doctrine in the Book of Discipline which claims that homosexuality is incompatible with God's teaching.  I thought for a long time about whether I would be fully welcomed into a community which held doctrine in opposition to a part of my personhood.  Delightfully, I chose to come to BUSTh because I truly felt God calling me here to build the foundation of my ministry, and I feel that I made the right decision.  Not once have I been made to feel like my sexuality places me as a second class citizen.  Not once have I felt like I had to hide who I was.  Every day I have felt welcomed, loved, and held up as a child of God and someone with sacred worth.  Until today.  

I listened to the preacher as (in my perception) his strong sermon crumbled.  This person told of how he believes that LGBTQ persons are people of sacred worth.  This person then told of how he upholds the Book of Discipline and the doctrine against full welcoming of LGBTQ people in the church; he cited his belief in the scripture as his reason for doing so.  This person said that he didn't care what the result of the 2016 General Conference of the United Methodist Church was pertaining to this critical issue.  His final premise essentially is that we are all people of Christ, no matter what the outcome of the conference will be. 

You can't preach love while standing in discrimination.  The two concepts stand in direct opposition to each other.  To love someone is to welcome them fully in their entire personhood in everything that encompasses.  To suggest that someone is welcome as long as they do not disclose a part of who they are is to hold them in a state of limbo.  It says, "you're almost human, but not quite."  It suggests, "you're worthy of my respect if you don't tell the truth about who you are."  It upholds the status quo of people being treated as second class citizens.  It says, "you're not good enough."  Enough is enough.  

Unsurprisingly, I am not the only person who feels angered, hurt, and offended by what happened in chapel today.  It was an invasion and a gross abuse of our safe space.  I have never felt so out of place and hit from left field here at STH as I did today.  I felt personally attacked, as did many of my brothers and sisters.  Some of us left.  Some of us stayed.  Some of us took Communion.  Some of us didn't.  MANY of us cried.  Many of us held hands in comfort and solidarity. 

The question now is, where do we go from here? How do we move forward from this pain in productive ways?  How do we heal the wounds and scars?  

I am so damn sick and tired of people holding onto prejudices and sanctioning discrimination in the name of God.  I am exhausted by the continual flow of shit that is poured on other human beings.  I am disgusted by the culture of status quo that continually withholds God's love for all people.  Bottom line, it's bullshit.  It's garbage.  It needs to end.  What the hell needs to happen for people to come to the recognition that God is love in full and human equality?  It's particularly disheartening when someone taking his/her own life is not enough of a catalyst to see where people have done wrong and committed such egregious acts of hurt and pain.  I say it again, what the hell needs to happen? People are dying (literally and metaphorically) and the status quo continues.  

Indifference because "we're all of Christ" solves nothing.  Indifference because you might see all people as sacred and children of God regardless of what society at large tells you does nothing for ensuring the full equality and personhood of all people in the ministry and love of God.  ALL PEOPLE ARE WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE!  ALL PEOPLE! To say otherwise is to be a church of exclusion.  To be a church of exclusion is to not truly be a church of Christ.  Christ worked with the people on the margins; the people who were undesirable, the people who were looked down upon, the people who were kicked to the curb.  Your indifference because we're all equal in the eyes of God does nothing to help bring people comfort and equality.  Your indifference asks people to sacrifice who they truly are, people of faith and whatever else they might be. 

I  am so glad I am a member of the United Church of Christ where I can be truly, honestly, and unapologetically who I am.  "No matter who you are or where you are on life's journey, you're welcome here."  But the UCC takes it a step beyond simply welcoming all people.  The UCC says, "we value you, we do not simply tolerate you." Toleration is the low hanging fruit.  Reach higher.  Climb that tree and find what grows higher up in the branches.  

Let me close with this:  The BUSTh community is phenomenal.  Through discussion, hugs, and shared laughter, we can make it through.  When you're feeling down, there are people who care who help pull you through.  

I may come back and edit this later.  I may not.  I may put more information in.  I may write a secondary follow-up blog post. I haven't decided.  

Week 5... Can't Sleep

It's 2am on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and I can't sleep.  Sadly, this isn't atypical.  It's a fairly regular thing for me to see 2:00 or later before being able to fall asleep, only to have to rise at 6:30 or 7:00 to make it to school on time.  It's not as if I try to stay up either.  I do my evening routine of brushing the chompers, washing the face, saying prayers, combing out my long mane, and then when I snuggle into bed...BAM!  The mind races and the body says, "let's do something!" Or maybe it's the mind that says, "let's do something!" it's hard to determine who the culprit is.  Warm milk, decaffeinated tea, my usual tricks... nothing seems to help. 

Oma would say, "what are you thinking about when you lie awake at night?" The short answer is, "I wish I could sleep!" while the longer and more truthful answer is likely to be "there's so much work to do and not enough time to do it all."  Cue anxiety and panic.  We're in week five of the semester and I still haven't been able to find the groove which allows me to get it all done.  Okay, I know that's an illusion and that there's no way to get it ALL done, but a woman can dream, right?  Alternate reality?  Time warp? TARDIS? So here we find ourselves... me writing away well past my bed time (if I still have one) while I wait to fall asleep. And you're going to say, "well of course you won't fall asleep if you're sitting up and typing!" to which I respond, "Well, I'm up for some reason, let's write and see what comes of it.  Maybe I'll clear out some junk, discern what is trying to be communicated, and start getting some sleep.  It can't hurt."  So now onto the news...

Seminary is great!  I can't say enough how much I'm enjoying my classes.  Each day offers a plethora of learning opportunities for one to engage in, and there are a multitude of wonderful people to share the day and life events with.  All in all, it's a great community of spectacular people, and I am grateful each day for the opportunity to be in ministry, fellowship, and community with them.
My classes are not only intellectually stimulating, but they are engaging in a way that brings ministry into a different picture.  It's enjoyable to be able to make connections between two classes which you might not think are connected.  Perhaps a fuller description of my class content is necessary, but I'll hold that off for another time. As it's now 2:48 and I'm starting to feel drowsy, we return to what prompted this late night posting.... I'm awake when I should be sleeping.

I believe I'm awake for a reason.  I'd much rather be sleeping, but something is calling me away from the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, so I'll sit and ponder a bit, listen even more, and feel for the beating drum in my soul. As I close this up for now, I'll leave you with Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.  And when I figure out what it is I'm supposed to know, I'll likely let you know. 

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe —
Sailed on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in that beautiful sea —
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish —
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam —
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home;
'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea —
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod

  by Eugene Field

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
   Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
   Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
   The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
   That live in this beautiful sea;
   Nets of silver and gold have we,"
            Said Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
   As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
   Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
   That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
   Never afraid are we!"
   So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
   To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
   Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
   As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
   Of sailing that beautiful sea;
   But I shall name you the fishermen three:
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
   And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
   Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
   Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
   As you rock in the misty sea
   Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod

  by Eugene Field

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
   Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
   Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
   The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
   That live in this beautiful sea;
   Nets of silver and gold have we,"
            Said Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
   As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
   Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
   That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
   Never afraid are we!"
   So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
   To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
   Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
   As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
   Of sailing that beautiful sea;
   But I shall name you the fishermen three:
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
   And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
   Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
   Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
   As you rock in the misty sea
   Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod

  by Eugene Field

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
   Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
   Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
   The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
   That live in this beautiful sea;
   Nets of silver and gold have we,"
            Said Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
   As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
   Ruffled the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fish
   That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
   Never afraid are we!"
   So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
   To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
   Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
   As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
   Of sailing that beautiful sea;
   But I shall name you the fishermen three:
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
   And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
   Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
   Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
   As you rock in the misty sea
   Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
            Wynken,
            Blynken,
            And Nod.

- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15720#sthash.FcggyOyd.dpuf